In the name of God, the creator, the redeemer and sustainer. Amen!
Working with persons with intellectual disabilities (PWID) has taught me many things, but the values of tolerance and patience are what I have learned to appreciate most. Trust me, it is a difficult yet a fulfilling task to work with PWID. They too can test your patience, but people who pushed my buttons the most were the coaches and the caregivers.
It is not an easy task to tolerate and be patient with people, regardless of their background. However, these values are important for living and working harmoniously with one another.
One of the ways in which you can tolerate someone is to try and empathize with them. Try to see things from their perspective. You may have different backgrounds and experiences to draw on, so what seems obvious to you might seem strange or alien to someone else. So, you need to understand where they come from.
The crucial part of developing a more tolerant outlook toward others is learning to appreciate differences. People who value difference and diversity are more tolerant of others and are less stressed by ambiguity and uncertainty.
Where am I going with this?
In the gospel passage this morning, we hear of two disciples approaching Jesus with the request to upgrade or promote them. “We want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” (Mark 10:35b – NOTE THE TONE). Grant us to sit beside you in your glory, they say. Very patiently, Jesus tells them, “You do not know what you are asking”.[1] That is none of my business.
What is astonishing, is that these guys were among the first disciples to be called by Jesus, often in the company of Simon Peter and his brother Andrew. They appear throughout Mark as representatives of the twelve[2]. As you will recall, these are the same guys that Jesus took to the mountain, and they witnessed his transfiguration. They are also part of the ongoing struggle of Jesus trying to teach his disciples about the significance of the Kingdom of God.
You would remember two weeks ago we heard of Jesus reprimanding his friends for stopping the children coming near him. “Do not stop them,” he said, “for it is to such as these that the Kingdom of God belongs.”[3]
Even before that, he spoke to them about their argument on who was to be the greatest. “Whoever wants to be first must be last and servant of all.”[4] Last week, also, we heard him saying the same thing to them after the encounter with the wealthy young man. “Many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”[5]
One would think by now everyone is on board with whatever Jesus is doing. But not James and John, they still think there is something more for them. Now they are cozying up to Jesus, trying to persuade him to grant them preferential treatment. And as always, Jesus does not give them what they want. We are told that other disciples “lost their tempers with James and John”[6], as the Message translation puts it. And “Jesus got them together to settle things down”.[7]
Amid all these episodes, Jesus was patient and tolerant with his friends. How much or how long should we tolerate the people we live with or those with whom we have established relationships? Because, let’s admit it, some characters are difficult to deal with. It took Jesus the whole period of his ministry to put-up with his friends. From the time he called them, to his death.
Can / should we be that patient with others? Some people are pushy. They will press your buttons. There are also those who are ambitious, controlling, exploitative, emotional, obsessive and energetic, always in a rush. And others don’t care. Yet others want to understand, analyse; they are easy going, lack sense of urgency, avoid getting too involved with people and life in general, and prefer a low-key lifestyle centred around home and family. Somehow these temperaments or characters have to work together.
How long can we or should we put up with each other? Tolerating another person takes a lot of effort. As I said earlier, one has to try and see things from the other’s perspective. Where do we draw the line? Is it worth it? How do we find a common ground? Let me conclude with the Collect from two weeks ago: O Holy Trinity, you are the unity of love: keep in love those who are born to each other and sustain the love of those who choose one another, that all will flourish in the security you intend; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen!
[1] Mark 10:38b
[2] See Mark 1: 29; 3:17; 5:37; 9:2; 14:33
[3] Mark 10:14
[4] Mark 9:35-36
[5] Mark 10:31
[6] Mark 10:41 (Message)
[7] Mark 10:42 (Message)